Family & Community Service
Laila Bondugjie
Laila Bondugjie has very fond memories of her birthplace, Amman, Jordan. Even though her father passed away when she was 4 years old, she had a very close relationship with her mother, who treated her like a princess, and the rest of her family, so she did not really feels she was missing anything in her life.
Laila attended the Arab University in Lebanon where she studied English Literature. She proceeded to work with the Royal Jordanian Airlines where she completed a course in Public Relations. At the age of 18, she met a young man at work who was studying to be a pilot and was planning to come to Canada to finish his studies. Laila fell in love with him and they were engaged before he came to Canada. Her fiancée, Mohamad, spent a year and a half in Canada, after which he went back to Jordan to marry Laila and bring her back to Canada with him. Needless to say, her family was heartbroken at the prospect of Laila leaving Jordan, especially her mother who was afraid that Laila would make Canada her permanent home.
Laila immigrated to Canada with her husband in 1970 when she was a young girl of 19. She left the good life, relatives, friends, and her very pleasant job, to come to a completely different country which had many challenges, and dreams, to offer. She especially missed her mother who being only sixteen years older than Laila, was like a friend to her. After six months of being in Canada, Laila could not withstand being away from home and she went to visit her family in Jordan. The separation from her daughter had taken a toll on Laila’s mother – she looked 10 years older.
When the civil war in Jordan broke out, it was very difficult for Laila to even call her family. Sometimes, she had to wait two days to get a line from Toronto to Amman. However, as in everything else, the human psyche has a tremendous capacity to adapt and by the second year, Laila began to feel that Canada is her home. Her husband wanted to go back but Laila had grown to love Canada and the Canadian lifestyle and system.
Although the decision to come to Canada was forced on her, and although she felt like a complete stranger at the beginning, Laila was determined to make it in Canada. In those days, most people did not know where Jordan or the Middle East were. Laila would refer to her country as the land through which the river Jordan passed, as most Canadians would recognize it since it is referred to in the Bible.
Fortunately, Laila’s knowledge of the English language was very good. However, she was not familiar with the local slang. For instance, once when she was at Shoppers, the cashier told her that the bill came to "five bucks". Laila thought that the young girl meant "box" and she told the cashier that she did not have a box with her. Her knowledge of the culture was lacking at the beginning and there were instances when she did not know how to react. She remembers when she first arrived in Toronto with her very long, beautifully straight long hair and an officer asked her if it was real and he wanted to touch it. In Jordan, it is considered rude and vulgar for a stranger to touch a woman’s hair, so Laila ran away from him. Another aspect she was not used to, is that in Canada once people get to know one another, they kiss and hug when they meet. All of these cultural differences produce a kind of shock in immigrants, and Laila is never judgmental or condescending towards newcomers because she knows first-hand what it is like to have to learn a whole new way of doing things.
In the 70’s there were not many Arabs in Toronto and Laila had to go all the way to Mississauga to buy Arabic bread. There, friends consisted mainly of Arab men married to Canadians or Europeans. Sometimes, it was difficult for Laila to know how she should behave – should she follow the Canadian or the Arab norms and customs. With time she learned to integrate the two and became comfortable with herself.
After six months of being in Canada, Laila became pregnant with her first son. At first, she did not know anything about pregnancies or babies. However, her doctor was very supportive and helped a great deal in providing her with information about motherhood. She even remembers that when she was in the hospital after delivery, her doctor informed the cafeteria not to put pork in her meats as she was a Muslim and could not eat it. In those days, she thought that pork was fish and she had no idea what bacon was. Laila is very grateful to all the health professionals who helped her in delivering her three sons, and she still remembers how her doctor told a nurse to visit her in her home, so as to teach her how to take care of her first baby.
The more she saw of Toronto, the more Laila loved the city. She was fascinated by the complex highway system and by the way that most stores are either in plazas or malls, whereas in Jordan the whole concept was unknown since stores were/are set up right on the street. She especially liked the honesty of Canadians because they usually mean what they say. If someone said "no" to you they meant it and it was better not to argue with them. She also loved the cleanliness of the city and the way the streets and traffic are so well organized.
Laila began to think of re-starting her career 11 years after having her last baby since she and her husband were of the firm opinion that they did not want strangers raising their kids. She went to Humber College and obtained a certificate in Business Administration so as to be able to enter the world of management. Laila called the Board of Education and told them that she was willing to teach Arabic to children who were of Arab origin. She taught Arabic for two years. After which she joined the Arab Community Centre of Toronto on a part-time basis. After a few weeks of working there, Laila was offered the position of Executive Director. In 1986, in coordination with the Ontario Minister of Multiculturalism, Laila was able to establish the Arab Heritage Day, which is a day reserved especially for Arab and non-Arab Canadians to celebrate the contribution of Arabs to Canadian society. The first time that Arab Heritage Day took place was at Queen’s Park. It was a very grandiose, and at the same time emotional, celebration. So much work had gone into making it but it had finally paid off.
Laila also worked in the media. She was coordinator and host of Salam, an Arab show with MTV which consisted of news and items about the Arab world and the Arab community in Canada. Laila feels that the Arab community needs to be more involved in the media as it is a powerful and informative way to make our presence felt.
In 1989, Laila left all her successful projects to fully concentrate on the Arab Community Centre which was on the brink of total collapse. She started with one employee and was determined to make what she called "her baby" grow again.
The main thing that she learned from immigration is that a person can divide their love between two countries. She likes the memories she has of Jordan and she considers it home, but she has also developed wonderful memories in Canada and it has become her new home. She remembers her first Ramadan in Toronto was very tough and she felt very lonely. As time went by, Laila and her family developed friendships with many Arabs and they would celebrate Eid together so as to keep the culture alive for them and their kids. Laila also goes back to Jordan on a yearly basis with her children so that they would not lose touch with their roots.
Laila believes that she has achieved most of her goals in life, especially when it comes to her family. She admires strong women and is especially fond of Mrs. Aida Graff who used to be the Dean of Women for Victoria College at the University of Toronto. Laila, would one day, like to have accomplished in her career as much as Aida did in hers. At the moment, the biggest joy in her life is having become a grandmother. Her 5 grandchildren are a source of pure joy for her, and she actually calls them "my life".
Laila’s advice to the young is to set up goals in life and to work on them so that they become successful. She also advises the young to get involved in community work so as to help those who are less fortunate. She feels special sympathy for those newcomers from war-torn countries since they have special needs and who are usually worse off than the average immigrant.
Laila describes herself as a Canadian of Arab origin, which she views as making her culturally richer and linguistically being able to speak more than one language. During her long career, Laila has received numerous awards recognizing her commitment to community service. Among these are: